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| Ok, Jessica. Since I haven't updated in forever and because I'm working an overnight shift again, this is for you.
A summary of my night/morning:
I started out my day today as usually coming in and working from 2-9:30...until my night auditor called in sick. And no one would come in. I got to go home and take a nap so I could come back in at 1am. (sound fun yet?) I had a bunch of drunk guys from Fort Leonard Wood checking in with either a skank in tow or trying to get me to be their skanky ho. I got a ten dollar tip from Mr. Sanchez of Puerto Rico who said that I was just "professionally hot" and should concider a career in asking people for money since I had obviously wasted my only other opportunity to make millions playing basketball. While Mr. Sanchez was meticulously laying out my business plan, my *new friend* Mike who I had checked in earlier (also an army guy) decided to interviene by telling Mr. Sanchez that he didn't appreciate him offering his girlfriend *aka me* money and encouraged him to leave the premisis. (He thought I'd be thrilled...but I was holding out for $20) I have never openly bragged to a stranger about my boyfriend before but I'm sure Mike left thinking that John is the world's tallest, most beautiful and most bad-ass man. I'm pretty sure I saw his tail set firmly between his legs as he scurried to the elevator (score 50 points: John) Anyway, the moral of this story is that I am too hot for night audit. And so is anyone with the hint of a vagina.
Now I'm going to sit back and drink a cup of coffee while I thank Jesus for being born since there's a giant Christmas tree blocking my perverted bellman's view of me.
p.s. All checks and money orders can be made out to my private business: "Sanchez Professional Hotties Inc." All donations are welcome. (New special: donate $50 and recieve a signed photo!!!) *
*limited quantity available | | |
| YAY!!! Fall Break is here! How fabulous! It's 3 or 4 hours until i'm supposed to be leaving to go to Baltimore, MD and I'm not really packed yet. I hadn't exactly even turned my mind to it until an hour ago. I figure I'll just throw some stuff in the car and head for the airport regardless of whether I've forgotten some mundane article....like the 5 extra pairs of socks that always end up in my bag. I think it's some kind of mental quirk. No matter where I go, I'm almost certain that I am going to need more socks than I already have packed. Then I end up showing up at my destination with 12 pairs of socks and no pants. Last time i went on a trip I had to sleep in a skirt because i forgot pajamas...but damnit--my feet were warm! | | |
| Here is my update: It's 4am and I'm at work....yeah, that's
pretty much it. oh..and there's a perverted french bellman
staring at me. 
I wish there were someone I could wake up and bug on the phone, but
fortunately, I know better than to wake Richard up. It just wouldn't be
pretty. (that's what doing cocaine and whoring yourself out do to
a person I suppose)
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| ...And really bad eggs...drink up me hearties yoho!
Have I mentioned that I love pirates? That's really the only reason for this post. I've decided to leave John to sail the high seas. There's no room for distractions where raping, pilliaging and plundering are involved. So, next time I see you, I'll more than likely have a sword to your throat...and a really cool hat....maybe a monkey too. Arrrrr!! | | |
| AAAAGGggghhh......my brains are about to come out my ears. needless to say; it's painful. I'm starting to wonder how i'm going to pull off two jobs, school and a boyfriend in two weeks...but my brain's a bit more preoccupied with why my body feels like it's been run over by a truck at the moment. Who knew working 12 hours a day could be so physically detremental? Goodnight ladies and gentlemen. *insert fart noise here* | | |
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